• Softcover funny work journal front cover with vintage embroidery pattern and scalloped parchment cartouche reading KPIs and other horseshit in Western slab-serif lettering
  • Close-up of hand-lettered title KPIs and other horseshit in parchment cartouche with stitched border on vintage embroidery pattern journal
  • Design detail showing two hand-drawn galloping horses flanking a sunburst medallion with chain-stitch scrollwork on taupe softcover journal
  • Profanity softcover journal open flat showing full wrap embroidery design on front and back covers with equestrian illustration
  • Funny work journal KPIs and other horseshit with dimensions labeled 5.75 inches wide by 8 inches tall
  • Funny work journal with hand-stitched embroidery design reading KPIs and other horseshit on warm taupe softcover, displayed on round wooden surface showing full equestrian illustration
  • Profanity softcover journal on gray leather desk pad beside notebooks in work from home lifestyle setting
  • Product details -5.75" x 8", Available with 100 lined pages (50 sheets) and 200 lined pages (100 sheets), Luxurious Soft-Touch Matte Laminate on Soft Paper Cover, Pages Are Perforated for Easy Tear-Out, Corners Are Rounded to Prevent Bending
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Questionably Safe for Work Journals

KPIs and Other Horseshit, Softcover Journal

KPIs and Other Horseshit, Softcover Journal

$13.50 USD
$16.99 USD $13.50 USD
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Size

Original artwork ✦ Secure Checkout ✦ Free shipping over $30

It looks like something you’d find on a shelf in an old-west saddlery. It reads like the resignation letter you keep rewriting in your head during quarterly reviews. This softcover funny work journal wraps your most professional frustrations in hand-stitched embroidery so beautiful, nobody will suspect a thing.

Every line, letter, and stitched flourish is original hand-drawn artwork. Your metrics may be meaningless, but your stationery doesn’t have to be.

Perfect For

  • The project manager who tracks deliverables all day and needs somewhere to track grievances
  • Anyone who has Googled “what does KPI stand for” during a meeting about KPIs
  • A going-away gift for the coworker who finally escaped the quarterly review cycle
  • The desk that already has a hidden profanity mug and needs the matching stationery

Design Details

  • Hand-lettered Western slab-serif title in a scalloped parchment cartouche with stitched border
  • Hand-drawn embroidery illustration across the full cover: chain-stitch scrollwork, floral motifs, and star stitches on warm taupe ground
  • Two galloping horses flanking a sunburst medallion in cream linework
  • Design wraps both covers; back mirrors the illustration without the title

Materials & Care

  • 5.75” × 8” softcover
  • Available with 100 lined pages (50 sheets) and 200 lined pages (100 sheets)
  • Luxurious Soft-Touch Matte Laminate on Soft Paper Cover
  • Pages Are Perforated for Easy Tear-Out
  • Corners Are Rounded to Prevent Bending

Made for You

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions.

Shipping and Returns

Shipping

  • Ships from Maryland
  • Item ships 3 to 5 business days AFTER you place your order (this is the time it takes to produce the journal)

Returns

Returns are only accepted on damaged or incorrect products.

You have 20 days after your order is delivered to contact dubious doodles and ask for a return.

Returns should be requested by completing this form. Request a Refund

© Olivia Phillips Design 2026. Original artwork.

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FAQs

What's inside?

Lined pages. No prompts, no dates, just clean ruled paper ready for whatever you need it to hold. Page count and dimensions are in the product details.

Will the cover hold up in a bag?

Yes. The cover is built to handle daily life, not just sit on a shelf. It holds up in a tote, backpack, or wherever you take it. Softcovers flex without cracking, and hardcovers protect the pages from the chaos of your bag.